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The craziest moments and most pressing questions from the first two episodes of Yellowstone’s fifth season, which were full of bruises, boozing, and large belt buckles
Nov
“One Hundred Years is Nothing,” the first episode
Has any other governor ever shown such melancholy upon winning the office?
*John has no desire to speak for the whole population of Montana. When his opponent, who I think goes by the name of “Mr. East Coast Liberal Venti Latte,” calls to concede, at least he is truthful.
When everyone leaves the campaign battle room to rejoice and turns off the lights while he is still there, is that Jamie’s lowest point? Embarrassing!
Beth’s homicidal glare at Jamie as the confetti rains down
How on earth did it avoid going right through his head?
Congratulations to Caroline Warner (Jacki Weaver), who threw the whole bottle of alcohol in addition to her glass out of displeasure. She is quite enraged!
Is Jamie still so stupid to work for Market Equities today? His family will be very skeptical of whatever proposal he makes.
Kylie Rogers plays Young Beth brilliantly. Perhaps Taylor Sheridan could focus on a “Gossip Girl”-style spinoff of the young bunkhouse for her next project.
The big, passionate sequences starring Rip (Cole Hauser) and Beth are fantastic, but…
I guess Rip is right? Beth appears to have expressed a lot of regret for the pastof regret for the past. All is well! Let’s focus on what’s ahead.
If Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger dressed as Rip for Halloween, why didn’t she dress as Beth?The possibilities for costumes are limitless and, quite honestly, more interesting than a garden fairy. Before anybody gets upset, the garden fairy costume was indeed attached to the parents’ two gorgeous kids, who were dressed as butterflies and bees. But if we disguise the youngsters as Little Jamie and Little Governor Dutton, we can all rejoice!
“Vodka makes me happy,” said Beth.
Is this the year for the Duttons’ heavy drinkers to seek treatment?In the context of this discussion about “finding your happiness,” the statement is very dismal.
Should Kayce and his family just branch off into their own show? Beginning with the previous season, they seemed to be more and more out of place amid the political and ranching intrigue of the main drama. Give him a spinoff that is akin to “Walker, Texas Ranger,” where we learn more about his family, his fellow lawmen, and the real rules that apply to livestock agents. These anecdotes, such as seeing those fancy-pants, free-healthcare-loving Canadians at the border relinquish control because American jails are renowned for being harsher on lawbreakers than our criminal-loving cousins up north, seem more and more undeveloped. When asked to repeat his name, what was holding John back? spooky memories? underlying health problems? stage fright
The easiest way for Jamie to succeed in politics, according to this swearing-in ceremony, is to wear a large cowboy hat.
I am totally enjoying the arguments between Jamie and Beth. One of the episode’s greatest lines comes from him as he murmurs, “We’re all going to jail.”
The driver comes across as being too much of a sycophant. He’ll undoubtedly turn on the Duttons.
Teeter (Jennifer Landon), welcome back! Every scene is stolen by your wonderful accent.
The Shane Smith and the Saints performance serves as a wonderful reminder of “Yellowstone’s” superior alt-country soundtrack. The official Spotify playlist for the concert is jam-packed with hits.
Way to ruin the party atmosphere, Rip, with all this Nero chatter!
What a terrible vehicle accident! Of all the characters on television, Monica (Kelsey Asbille) seemed to have the worst luck. She simply can’t seem to win!
Monica misplaced the child? And they gave the child the name John? Heartbreaking!
“The Sting of Wisdom,” episode two
Brecken Tate’s effort to escape the vehicle accident, as well as his following shock and hysteria while looking for his mother, are tense scenes that Merrill masterfully portrays.
*Telephone 911 with your location and a pin…
Tate, it was a wise decision!
Things are becoming rather weighty…
Let’s take a look at Rip’s tasseled chaps and huge belt buckle.
Chief of Staff Jim Roberts definitely ought to have had Governor Dutton’s attention sooner in this transition…
Jim, bye!
When John fulfills his fantasy of living a life à la Ron Swanson, often skipping meetings, it’s entertaining to see him struggle.
Beth, hurt! Jamie’s father was the target of her scathing remarks.
What a depressing event! If you’re in need of some emotional support, head here to see a collection of images featuring dogs in cowboy garb. If they were in control, Yellowstone Ranch would not function as well, but wouldn’t it be adorable?
John is attempting to fight off political wolves while the cowboys are attempting to protect the property from the wolves. Warning: metaphor
Sarah (Dawn Olivieri), Market Equities’ new secret weapon, resembles Beth in many ways. Oh, the battles they shall engage in!
*Ugh, Jamie is definitely going to fall in love with Sarah.
Valet character with just a few lines: “Don’t worry.” Beth’s analogy about auto payments was quite unclear.
*Rip has to shoot a horse, as if this episode wasn’t already awful enough? Jeez!
I never expected to see a mountain biker attempting to get Beth’s attention, but good luck!
There’s nothing like a traditional five-degree Beth burn. Ah, magnifique!
Another “Yellowstone” special: When someone asks, “What the heck are you doing?,” approach them and silently sucker punch them in the face.
Rip is an expert at intimidating people and manipulating them. The driftwood and wolf collar strategy is rather clever, even if none of his plans this season can compare to stuffing a dangerous snake in a cooler, shaking it, and hurling it in a man’s face.
Perhaps they’re not aiming for this vibe, but will John hook up with Clara, his new assistant (Lilli Kay)? Although he does like dating younger ladies, this might be a little much. Will he allow Summer (Piper Perabo), his protester fling, to remain imprisoned, or will he formally pardon her?
Phew! Up until next week, that is all. Check out Variety’s Season 5 preview for interviews with Hauser, Reilly, and Bentley in the interim.
From Macallcloth
